If you read my other blog - www.donnaonthebeach.blogspot.com, you will know that last week I was busy driving the bulldozer into a cliff bad-temperdly. And it was my choice to do so. Had I stopped to think about it in bulldozer terms, I might have realise that I'd hit a wall, but I didn't so I carried on stropping about the place until I saw that I was shattered and needed a rest.
So, having stopped for a service and a tune-up, I am back behind the wheel, bulldozing away cheerfully...remembering to keep my speed to one the bulldozer can comfortably do, keeping an eye on where I'm going and watching the road ahead for rough terrain. It's interesting, I post here and say 'today I learned...', then 2 days later I am learning the same lesson.
One of these days I will learn to live every lesson, I will be perfect...hang on, what the heck am I babbling about?! I drive a bulldozer. I will keep learning just as I am now - faster and with more humour. The most important lesson? ENJOY the journey!
Love
BD
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Where are we going?
When you get into your vehicle (car, boat, bulldozer), you must know where you are going in order to get there. Otherwise you drive around in circles, wasting diesel (energy), getting frustrated and bored and creating that rut that you get stuck in. So where are you going? Me? I'm going to the seaside. At the moment that journey is taking a little longer than I anticipated, but that is no reason not to enjoy the journey.
And I am certain that this delay is serving me in some way...apart from anything else, the learning and growth I am getting from taking my path (off-road, cross country, seeing things I never knew existed). It's easy to see people who are at your destination and feel jealousy...but I discovered today that the jealousy comes from an 'I should be there' thought. Which isn't true, because I'm not there.
So I should be here. Right where I am is the right place for me right now...I'm still journeying toward the seaside - and I will get there...just as soon as the decision makes itself as to which beach to land on!
So, have you decided where you're going?
Love
BD
And I am certain that this delay is serving me in some way...apart from anything else, the learning and growth I am getting from taking my path (off-road, cross country, seeing things I never knew existed). It's easy to see people who are at your destination and feel jealousy...but I discovered today that the jealousy comes from an 'I should be there' thought. Which isn't true, because I'm not there.
So I should be here. Right where I am is the right place for me right now...I'm still journeying toward the seaside - and I will get there...just as soon as the decision makes itself as to which beach to land on!
So, have you decided where you're going?
Love
BD
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Speed
What speed is your journey at?
I was thinking today that I like to move at a steady amble. (In a 'real' car, I like driving fast but this is the journey of life...and my vehicle is a bulldozer, not an XK8) And when my journey goes 'wrong', I am usually trying to go too fast, or at full stop. In this journey of life, I have a destination I want to get to...but I don't want to get there burnt out, stressed and exhausted. I want it to be the highlight of a fucking amazing journey.
And to enjoy that journey, I need to mooch, to potter, to enjoy the scenery on the way. When I get hooked on the 'pedal to the metal' mindset, the bulldozer breaks down. So, I'm setting a speed limit - no faster than I can go and still see the beauty in the scenery around me.
What is your speed limit?
Love
BD
I was thinking today that I like to move at a steady amble. (In a 'real' car, I like driving fast but this is the journey of life...and my vehicle is a bulldozer, not an XK8) And when my journey goes 'wrong', I am usually trying to go too fast, or at full stop. In this journey of life, I have a destination I want to get to...but I don't want to get there burnt out, stressed and exhausted. I want it to be the highlight of a fucking amazing journey.
And to enjoy that journey, I need to mooch, to potter, to enjoy the scenery on the way. When I get hooked on the 'pedal to the metal' mindset, the bulldozer breaks down. So, I'm setting a speed limit - no faster than I can go and still see the beauty in the scenery around me.
What is your speed limit?
Love
BD
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
the Smoothest path
Really noticing today that when I choose what path to take on a whim - going over there cos it's sunny today, over here because there's pretty flowers, hither and thither just because I'm curious - it is a smoother ride than if I go where I should go. I know the direction I am headed...and what's the point in reaching my destination if I have hated the journey?
The journey is the whole point. And ok, maybe there are some bumps, but I enjoy them WAY more than if I had come this way because it was the 'right way'. If there is no wrong way, the best way for me to go today is where I WANT to be.
Aha. Where do you want to be?
Love
BD
The journey is the whole point. And ok, maybe there are some bumps, but I enjoy them WAY more than if I had come this way because it was the 'right way'. If there is no wrong way, the best way for me to go today is where I WANT to be.
Aha. Where do you want to be?
Love
BD
Monday, February 12, 2007
Always Bulldozing
When are you on your journey? Your life journey? Does it get put on hold while you are working? Do you only move forward at certain times of the week? Or are you always CONSCIOUSLY journeying? see, the journey is always in progress - much confusion could be avoided by PAYING ATTENTION! (reminds me of the time I saw a sign on the M1 saying London 100 miles, and only then realised I was heading in entirely the wrong direction, I wanted to be going North!!)
I realised today that I am always bulldozing, no matter what I'm doing. I am consciously on my journey 24/7 - whether shopping or working, I am conscious of which way I am headed, looking at the scenery, seeing the signs. It's the first time I have realised how aware and present I have become!
This post started with a thought about Bulldozing hours - I love Mondays because i don't do 9-5...I do what I like in the morning, then work in the afternoon and early evening. I was going to say that the bulldozer starts up at 12, but of course it was going great guns while I was spending my book tokens in Borders, it was fired up in fact the moment I opened my eyes.
Stay alert - you are constantly driving - are you always going in the direction of your dreams?
Love
Donna.x
I realised today that I am always bulldozing, no matter what I'm doing. I am consciously on my journey 24/7 - whether shopping or working, I am conscious of which way I am headed, looking at the scenery, seeing the signs. It's the first time I have realised how aware and present I have become!
This post started with a thought about Bulldozing hours - I love Mondays because i don't do 9-5...I do what I like in the morning, then work in the afternoon and early evening. I was going to say that the bulldozer starts up at 12, but of course it was going great guns while I was spending my book tokens in Borders, it was fired up in fact the moment I opened my eyes.
Stay alert - you are constantly driving - are you always going in the direction of your dreams?
Love
Donna.x
Saturday, February 10, 2007
A New Fuel
Earlier in the week I was complaining that I kept stalling - running out of fuel. I realised yesterday that this is completely my own short-sightedness...both in not ensuring the fuel tank is full AND in not realising that my bulldozer runs on several different types of fuel - there's money, energy (passion, adrenaline, fear...not a great fuel to use) AND the one I had forgotten about - generosity.
Other people's generosity often provides me with the energy/fuel to keep going. The trouble is, if you only look at one type of fuel, you are too dependant on that - if the bank account is a bit low, you're buggered! But if you realise that your bulldozer (porsche, horse and cart, boat) can keep going for miles on other types of energy, the bank account is just a detail.
Don't panic, there's always alternatives, and the percieved 'shortage' is an opportunity to be clever and start experimenting with other options. Remember Back to The Future? Where they're going, they don't need roads. Couldn't agree more.
Love
BD
Other people's generosity often provides me with the energy/fuel to keep going. The trouble is, if you only look at one type of fuel, you are too dependant on that - if the bank account is a bit low, you're buggered! But if you realise that your bulldozer (porsche, horse and cart, boat) can keep going for miles on other types of energy, the bank account is just a detail.
Don't panic, there's always alternatives, and the percieved 'shortage' is an opportunity to be clever and start experimenting with other options. Remember Back to The Future? Where they're going, they don't need roads. Couldn't agree more.
Love
BD
Thursday, February 08, 2007
I'm a warm weather bulldozer, me
You'd think in a Bulldozer that a snowy day would be no obstacle to the furtherment of your plans, but my bulldozer is not one for the cold...I broke down deliberately. Down tools, onto spontaneous mode - after a day of working irregularly, watching the Secret, playing in the snow, chilling under the duvet, I paradoxically feel like I'm further on my journey than I was this morning.
Sometimes standing still is the way to move forward.
Love
BD
Sometimes standing still is the way to move forward.
Love
BD
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Wilderness is Key
Interesting day. Me and my bulldozer got stuck in traffic on the way to an appointment, and I realised just how little I want to be part of that world. I know no one likes getting stuck in traffic, but it's something more than that - it's about wanting to be driving (metaphorically) my own way, doing my own thing, not constricted or restricted.
I also noticed that when the bulldozer drives at high speed, she breaks down. This is a direct result of my scheduling - I think I've left plenty of time to do all I need to but actually end up dashing hither and thither and losing my equilibrium. So, I'm experimenting tomorrow with not having any 'miles to clock up' - wherever I get to is wherever I get to, and if that's right where I am today, then that's where I need to be.
Love
BD
I also noticed that when the bulldozer drives at high speed, she breaks down. This is a direct result of my scheduling - I think I've left plenty of time to do all I need to but actually end up dashing hither and thither and losing my equilibrium. So, I'm experimenting tomorrow with not having any 'miles to clock up' - wherever I get to is wherever I get to, and if that's right where I am today, then that's where I need to be.
Love
BD
Monday, February 05, 2007
Stalling
My bulldozer keeps stalling. I will be merrily moving along, when shit! I've run out of fuel. I'm also getting really distracted from my route by other things - exciting looking side trips that may take me away from my 'real' journey. Or will they be shortcuts? Who knows...for now, my decision is to take a speculative step in that direction (without the bulldozer) and just see what the terrain is like.
I was getting bored of the terrain ahead, and wondering if this was really the way I wanted to go, when a call today helped me realise that I LOVE the path I'm on...perhaps it's time to move a bit quicker! For that, I need fuel. Aha.
Love
BD
I was getting bored of the terrain ahead, and wondering if this was really the way I wanted to go, when a call today helped me realise that I LOVE the path I'm on...perhaps it's time to move a bit quicker! For that, I need fuel. Aha.
Love
BD
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