Back Seat Drivers

One of the lovely qualities of the human race is that we are all so 'interested' in how other people are doing things...and we always think that we know best. Ever been in the passenger seat with your foot on an imaginary brake? Ever been in the driver's seat when someone is telling you how to drive? Annoying isn't it? And the same applies when someone else gives their opinion on your journey.

Sometimes it can be really helpful - people who give you a shortcut, or some helpful tip. And sometimes it can be worse than useless - even downright discouraging. Here's how I deal with it - number 1, I ask myself if they have been in the position I am in - if so, it gives their comments a little more weight as they speak from experience. Number 2, I ask if what they say has any value (regardless of my feelings about it). Then I twist what they say into something I can use, or I ignore them (even if they might be right sometimes - I was ever stubborn!).

Anyway, what got me started thinking about this today was the 'internal' back seat drivers. Now I'm going to keep this simple - I won't go into my archetypal family, ancient brain or wild woman (if you're interested in this kind of stuff, get in touch, let's talk!). Let's just say that my logical side and intuitive side are in complete disagreement about how I should drive. Logically, there are specific actions to be taken, a route to be planned and followed, and a checklist. Intuitively, there are many ways to go, interesting sidetrips and distractions, and the journey is more important than the destination.

How do you marry the two? And get on with your journey so they're not arguing incessantly all the way? Firstly, notice that you have opposing thoughts - everyone does, it doesn't mean you're mad. Notice that different parts of you have different priorities - the family man vs the adventurer for example. Secondly, let the opposing parts be heard. And thirdly allow the different parts of you to have an input in how you drive...if they work together, the journey is much smoother!

Love

BD
PS If you are interested in archetypes, check out Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss